New Australia Post Stamp problem

Australia Post have created and marketed a new stamp displaying a picture of the current Prime Minister of Australia, Ms Gillard. 
The prime minister had requested a recall of the stamps following concerns that they weren’t sticking.
 
Australia Post recently suspended a recall of the stamps after the findings of a special Senate Committee were released.
 


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The Prime Minister was told that the stamp was not sticking to envelopes and the enraged Prime Minister demanded a full investigation. 
After a month of testing and spending of $1.85 million, a special Senate Committee led by the leader of the Greens, Bob Brown, presented the following findings
 - 
1)  The stamp is in perfect order. 
2)  There is nothing wrong with the adhesive. 
3)  People are spitting on the wrong side of the stamp.

AN ACTUAL PERSONAL AD

AN ACTUAL PERSONAL AD

 

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me In Downtown Savannah  night before last.

Date: 2009-05-27, 1 :43 a.m.  E.S.T.

 

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

 First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The even ing was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!

 

 I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

 

 After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

 I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

 

 I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

 Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

 

 The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc..  ;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day!

 

Thoughtfully yours,

 

Alex

Why I Am now Divorced

Why I Am now Divorced

 

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. 

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my husband would be pleasant and say, 
'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me.  

As it turned out,  he barely said good morning,  let alone ' Happy Birthday.'  

I thought.... 

 

Well, that's marriage for you,  but the kids.... they will remember..  

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word..  
So when I left for the office,  I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.  

As I walked into my office,  my handsome Boss Rick, said,  
'Good Morning, lady,  and by the way

 Happy Birthday! '  
It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. 

 

I worked until one o'clock, when Rick knocked on my door and said, 'You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday,  what do you say we go out to lunch,  just you and me..'  
I said, 'Thanks, Rick,  that's the greatest thing  I've heard all day. Let's go!' 


We went to lunch.  But we didn't go where we normally would go. 
He chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table.  
We had two martinis each  and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.  


On the way back to the office, Rick said, 'You know,  it's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office,  Do We?'  

I responded, 'I guess not.  What do you have in mind?' 

He said, 'Let's drop by my place, it's just around the corner.'  

After arriving at his house,  Rick turned to me and said, If you don't mind,  I'm going to step into the bedroom  for just a moment.  
I'll be right back.'  
'Ok.' I nervously replied.  


He went into the bedroom and,  after a couple of minutes,  he came out  carrying a huge birthday cake ...  
Followed by my husband, my kids, and dozens of my friends  and co-workers, all singing 'Happy Birthday'.  

And I just sat there.... 

On the couch.....  

Naked.

Balls

INTERESTING OBSERVATION 

Image001

1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is  BASKETBALL. 

Image002

2 The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is  BOWLING.

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3 The sport of choice for front-line workers is  FOOTBALL. 


Image004

4 The sport of choice for supervisors is  BASEBALL. 

Image005

5 The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS. 

And.... 


Image006

6 The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is  GOLF. 


THE AMAZING CONCLUSION: 


The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

There must be a ton of people in Canberra playing marbles!

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Good or what?

what a great bear
 

 

   

   


 

These pictures  are said to have been taken by a fellow from Grande  Cache, Alberta ,  1.5 hours south of 
Grande  Prairie, by the Berland river on Highway 40. 

 
Take  a look at the time frame in the bottom right-hand corner  of each picture ... 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


It took Yogi just ten minutes to pick  up a lady Bear, invite her to dinner, feed her a  terrific meal, and get laid.

Is this guy  good or  what...???!!! 
 
HE IS A LEGEND!

 

   
 

  

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WTF - India/Pakistan Border

WTF??

what a strange lot.......

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