'Holy Prostitutes'

 'Holy Prostitutes' 

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye....It reads: 

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS 
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 
10 MILES 

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought.... 

Soon he sees another sign which reads: 

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS 
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 
5 MILES 

Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying: 

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS 
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 
NEXT RIGHT 

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading: 

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS 

He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, 'What may we do for you my son?' 

He answers, 'I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business....' 

'Very well my son. Please follow me.' He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, 'Please knock on this door.' 

He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door... This nun instructs, 'Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway.' 

He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him. 

The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign:

GO IN PEACE. 
YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS. 
SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER

Egyptian Rioting Protection Wear

So just to outline here – these are makeshift helmets made by the Egyptians whilst scrapping in their current predicament.

I shall guide you through these pieces of registered non standard army kit:

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Your classic 1979 ‘Tribottle rag’ helmet – a must in any type of combat

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A late 80’s ‘boxhat.’ The bloke next to him doesn’t appear too sure of its effectiveness.

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A renaissance period piece of brick-wear teamed with a black and cream scarf. Textbook

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I'm not sure that tuna sammich he is about to lob is gonna cause too much destruction.


Old school 80’s broken trash bin helmet.

I personally love the fact he needs to lift it up to see – does he spend the rest of the time walking in to things?

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Textbook saucepanning with lifejacket combo. He does not take, ANYTHING!

 

 


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I literally have no idea what this is, maybe an imported Chinese wok.

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And the winner by 100 miles.


This bloke is going to war with two baguettes strapped to his ears and a ham salad roll cellophaned to his forehead. I’d definitely wanna be behind him if someone lobs a load of bricks at me.