Guaranteed to offend: Trivia question
I had a Trivia competition shot to pieces until the last question which I got wrong.
The question was "Where do women have the curliest hair"??
The answer I should have given was "Fiji"
Guaranteed to offend: Irish farmer
Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Ireland. He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts to him 'Where am I'??
The Irish farmer looks back up and shouts back 'Ya canna kid me ya flash bastard.
You're in that feckin basket'.
Guaranteed to offend: Irish boy
An Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road.
A man asks 'What is wrong'??
The boy says 'Me ma is dead'
'Oh bejaysus' the man says 'Do you want me to call Father O'Riley for you'??
The boy replies 'No tanks mister, Sex is the last ting on my moind at the moment'.
Guaranteed to offend: times have changed
I hate all this terrorist business.
I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself 'I'm having that'
Guaranteed to offend: Weather Girl
Snow in the forecast! The TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight.
I thought to myself "fat chance with a face like that!"
Guaranteed to offend: McDonalds
A fat girl served me food in McDonald's at lunch time. She said 'sorry about the wait.'
I said 'don't worry fatty, you're bound to lose it eventually '
Guaranteed to offend: Biology
I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name one thing commonly found in cells.
Apparently "Poof's" was not the correct answer.
Guaranteed to offend: I got Fired
I got fired on my first day as a male masseuse today.
Apparently the instruction 'finish off on her face' didn't mean what I thought it did.