A letter sent to England's government

NIGEL JOHNSON-HILL, PARKFARM, MILLAND, LIPHOOK GU30 7JT

 Rt Hon David Miliband MP
 Secretary of State.
 Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (DEFRA),
 Nobel House
17 Smith Square
London
SW1P 3JR
16 July 2009

 Dear Secretary of State,

   My friend, who is in farming at the moment, recently received a cheque for £3,000 from the Rural Payments Agency for not rearing pigs.. I would now like to join the "not rearing pigs" business.

   In your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to rear pigs on, and which is the best breed of pigs not to rear? I want to be sure I approach this endeavour in keeping with all government policies, as dictated by the EU under the Common Agricultural Policy.

   I would prefer not to rear bacon pigs, but if this is not the type you want not rearing, I will just as gladly not rear porkers. Are there any advantages in not rearing rare breeds such as Saddlebacks or Gloucester Old Spots, or are there too many people already not rearing these?

   As I see it, the hardest part of this programme will be keeping an accurate record of how many pigs I haven't reared. Are there any Government or Local Authority courses on this?

   My friend is very satisfied with this business. He has been rearing pigs for forty years or so, and the best he ever made on them was £1,422 in 1968. That is - until this year, when he received a cheque for not rearing any.

   If I get £3,000 for not rearing 50 pigs, will I get £6,000 for not rearing 100?  I plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding myself down to about 4,000 pigs not raised, which will mean about £240,000 for the first year. As I become more expert in not rearing pigs, I plan to be more ambitious, perhaps increasing to, say, 40,000 pigs not reared in my second year, for which I should expect about £2.4 million from your department. Incidentally, I wonder if I would be eligible to receive tradable carbon credits for all these pigs not producing harmful and polluting methane gases?

   Another point: These pigs that I plan not to rear will not eat 2,000 tonnes of cereals. I understand that you also pay farmers for not growing crops. Will I qualify for payments for not growing cereals to not feed the pigs I don't rear?

   I am also considering the "not milking cows" business, so please send any information you have on that too. Please could you also include the current Defra advice on set aside fields? Can this be done on an e-commerce basis with virtual fields (of which I seem to have several thousand hectares)?

   In view of the above you will realise that I will be totally unemployed, and will therefore qualify for unemployment benefits.  I shall of course be voting for your party at the next general election.

     
 Yours faithfully,

       
 Nigel Johnson-Hill

   

People of WalMart #4

NEW....#4 They're BAAACCCKKKKK!!!

PEOPLE OF WALMART #4


Image001

He is wearing… a trash bag… as a skirt. I can’t even fathom a reason why
. Who knows what he is going to use the Tupperware for.



Image002

Its not her fault; that guy’s fabulous rat tail makes all the girls pull their skirts up.



Image003

I’ve got 4 to 1 odds saying she smelled her hand after she pulled it back out.




Image004

Oh, a
pink garbage bag filled with cottage cheese .


Image005

C’mon. This brings a whole new meaning to the term ‘half-assed’.



Image006

It’s too bad that they don’t make jeans with a giant douche on them, then he would be set for any shirt.




Image007

Is it just me, or do mullets look 10x better with camo? These two are like the Mario and Luigi of Walmart.



Image008

This is either the ugliest woman ever, the worst cross-dresser ever, or a guy that is really bad at choosing gender appropriate clothes. Maybe it’s all three – an ugly woman, cross-dressing as a man, who can’t pick out manly clothes.



Image009

You are not a ballerina so don’t dress like one! That shirt manages to give your side boobs back boobs…..I’m not even sure how that’s possible, but you accomplished it.


Image010

Either that kid looks exactly like him, or believe it or not, Mr. Superbad himself is shopping at the Wal.




Image011

EEEEWWW!! I guess he thought he could roll his underwear over his pants and use them as a belt ? …didn’t work.



Image012

I’m still trying to figure out if that outfit is made like that on purpose or if its just trying to tear itself away from her body.




Image013

What is Walmart gay? Walmart gay is extra flamboyant attire like this,
rooted in Walmartness. For example, tying your shirt up is very flamboyant, especially if it's flannel. Pink shorts, big belt buckle, red knee highs,Big leather goofy hat – doesnt match a thing. I think you get the idea.


Image014

Well, if this guy grew that enchanting Ponytail for 11 years so he could one day squeeze into his tightest shirt, Lt. Dangle shorts and Goth boots for the purpose of getting his 15 minutes of fame on our website…….then i guess he got one over on us.


Image015

This lady looks like she woke up in an alley somewhere in Mexico and had the urge to get to a Walmart inmediatamente.




Image016

My man looks like a walking, talking, pimping Neapolitan Ice Cream. I bet that pimp hand is cold ladies.




Image017

Create your own caption. I’m in the middle of pouring bleach into my eyes.


Image018

Well the bleach from earlier obviously didn’t do the trick because I still see this….
they must be related.




Image019

Fashion tip: Your house arrest ankle bracelet is not an accessory, so you probably don’t want to go all LL Cool J with your sweatpants.



Image020

Sweet Jesus! Can you say " big walking condom" ? Any straight black male would slap the black out of him


Image021

Dear Skeezy Skeezerson, thanks for moving your nightie so we could get a nice glance at whatever it is you inked above your crack to thwart off potential suitors.
Go back to the trailer park.


Image022

Hell no we ain’t got no gays down here in Texas….yeah, I made this myself. Looks good don’t it?

 

INTERESTING GEOGRAPHY . . . .

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GEOGRAPHY FACTS

 

Alaska

Image001

 More than half of the coastline of the entire United States is in Alaska .

 

 

 Amazon

 

 The Amazon rainforest produces more than 20% the world's oxygen supply.

 

 

Image002

The Amazon River pushes so much water into the Atlantic Ocean that, more than one hundred miles at sea off the mouth of the river, one can dip fresh water out of the ocean.  The volume of water in the Amazon river is greater than the next eight largest rivers in the world combined and three times the flow of all rivers in the United States .

 

 Antarctica

 

 Antarctica is the only land on our planet that is not owned by any country.

Image003

Ninety percent of the world's ice covers Antarctica . This ice also represents seventy  percent of all the fresh water in the world. As strange as it sounds, however, Antarctica is essentially a desert. The average yearly total precipitation is about two inches Although covered with ice (all but 0.4% of it, ice.), Antarctica is the driest place on the planet, with an absolute humidity lower than the Gobi desert.

 

 

 Brazil

 

Brazil got its name from the nut, not the other way around.

 

 

 Canada

Image007

  Canada has more lakes than the rest of the world combined. Canada is an Indian word meaning ' Big Village .'

 

 

 Chicago

Image008

 Next to Warsaw , Chicago has the largest Polish population in the world.

 

 

 Detroit

Image009

Woodward Avenue in Detroit, Michigan, carries the designation M-1, so named because it was the first paved road anywhere.

 

 

 Damascus, Syria

Image010

 Damascus, Syria, was flourishing a couple of thousand years before Rome was founded in 753 BC, making it the oldest continuously inhabited city in existence.

 

 

 Istanbul, Turkey

Image011

Istanbul, Turkey, is the only city in the world located on two continents.

 

 

 Los Angeles

Image012

Los Angele's full name is El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de Los Angeles de Porciuncula -- and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size: L.A.

 

 

 New York City

 

The term 'The Big Apple' was coined by touring jazz musicians of the 1930's who used the slang expression 'apple' for any town or city. Therefore, to play New York City is to play the big time - The Big Apple.

Image013

There are more Irish in New York City than in Dublin , Ireland ; more Italians in New York City than in Rome, Italy ; and more Jews in New York City than in Tel Aviv, Israel ..

 

 

 Ohio

Image014

There are no natural lakes in the state of Ohio , everyone is manmade.

 

 

 Pitcairn Island

Image015

The smallest island with country status is Pitcairn in Polynesia , at just 1.75 sq. miles/4,53 sq. km.

 

 

 Rome

Image016

 The first city to reach a population of 1 million people was Rome , Italy in 133 B.C.  There is a city called Rome on every continent.

 

 

 Siberia

Image017

Siberia contains more than 25% of the world's forests.

 

 

 S.M.O.M .

Image018
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sovereign_Military_Order_of_Malta>

The actual smallest sovereign entity in the world is the Sovereign Military Order of Malta<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sovereign_Military_Order_of_Malta>  (S.M.O.M). It is located in the city of Rome, Italy, has an area of two tennis courts, and as of 2001 has a population of 80, 20 less people than the Vatican.  It is a sovereign entity under international law, just as the Vatican is.

 

 

 Sahara Desert

Image019

In the Sahara Desert , there is a town named Tidikelt , Algeria , which did not receive a drop of rain for ten years.

Technically though, the driest place on Earth is in the valleys of the Antarctic near Ross Island . There has been no rainfall there for two million years.

Image020

 

Spain

Image021

Spain literally means 'the land of rabbits.'

 

 

 St. Paul , Minnesota

Image022

St. Paul, Minnesota , was originally called Pig's Eye after a man named Pierre 'Pig's Eye' Parrant who set up the first business there.

 

 

 Roads

 

Chances that a road is unpaved in the U.S.A : 1%, in Canada : 75%

 

 

Russia

Image025

The deepest hole ever drilled by man is the Kola Superdeep Borehole, in Russia . It reached a depth of 12,261 meters (about 40,226 feet or 7.62 miles). It was drilled for scientific research and gave up some unexpected discoveries, one of which was a huge deposit of hydrogen - so massive that the mud coming from the hole was “boiling” with it.

 

 United States

Image026

The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one-mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.

 

 

 Waterfalls

 

 The water of Angel Falls (the World's highest) in Venezuela drops 3,212 feet (979 meters). They are 15 times higher than Niagara Falls .

Image027

 

 

(download)

 

 

(download)

 

Family ties...

A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghanistan desert when he saw something far off in the distance.
Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the object,
Only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand selling ties.
The Taliban asked: 'Do you have water?'
The Jewish man replied: 'I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only US$5 ...'
The Taliban shouted: 'Idiot! I do not need an over-priced tie.
I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!'
'OK,' said the old Jewish man, 'it does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me.
'I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant.
'It has all the ice cold water you need. Shalom.'
Muttering, the Taliban staggered away over the hill.
Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead.
*
*
*
*
'Your f****ng brother won't let me in without a tie!'

 

Unbelievable

 

The Shell Shaped House....... 

Do you know whose house is this ?......... 
Wait till the last photo........ 

Image00112

Architect: Javier Senosiain
Image00223

Location
: Bandra- Mumbai-India
Image00334

Nautilus 
Image00445

Lightcolour and shape
Image00556

Interior garden
 
Image00667

Fluidity of space 
Image00778

Shell 
Image00889

Path 
Image009910

A poetry of space 
Image0101011

The TV Room 
Image0111112

Bathroom
Image0121213

Kitchen
 
Image0131314

Detail
Image0141415

Bedroom
Image0151516

 This is the new house of none other than our own SACHIN TENDULKAR- the famous Indian cricket player