Brilliant!!

Why we should not flirt. 

A couple was invited to a swanky family masked fancy dress Halloween party.


 

The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.
 
 
He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and  said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.
 

The wife, after  sleeping soundly for about an hour, woke without pain and as it was still early, decided to go to the party.

As her husband didn't know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he behaved when she was not with him.  

So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband in his costume, cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice 'chick' and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.
 
 
 His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his new partner high and dry and devoted his time to her.
 
 
 She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband.
 

After more drinks he finally whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had passionate intercourse in the back seat.

Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume awayand was sitting up reading when he came in,  so she asked what kind of time he had.
 

'Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there.'
 
 
Then she asked, 'Did you dance much?'

He replied, 'I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the spare room and played poker all evening.'
 
 
'You must have looked really silly wearing that costume playing poker all night!' she said with unashamed sarcasm. To which the husband replied, 'Actually, I gave my costume to my Dad, apparently he had the time of his life.
 

 

Walmart People!

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It seems like you started adding random things to that list. Midgets and DSL !!


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Way to go Grandma !


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Charming !

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Eat your heart out Brad Pitt !

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I’m UTTERLY speechless !

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Well, lets all be thankful that at least half is covered.


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Everyone loves a man in yellow go-go boots!



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I REALLY hope that isn’t what I think it is…


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Oh, you want to take my son for a ride in your van? I don’t see a problem with that !


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The Batmobile is being fixed – this is my spare car !.


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If a cheetah and a leopard decided to mate, this would be the result



.
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Why did you ever, E…V…E…R. think this was appropriate to wear in public?

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Yeah – well thanks for telling me that NOW !

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Every man has an NFL jersey AND short pink shorts in their wardrobe, right?

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How the hell does she manage to wipe her ass ??

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Just in case you had the irresistible urge…


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Got any grits flavour chewing gum !
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Pimpin ain’t easy down at da walmart.

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It’s like those shorts are managing to cover nothing and everything at the same time.


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Where the hell is Catwoman !
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I see that Britney Spears let herself go…….again !

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If i asked you where i could buy that shirt your answer would be…….



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Nobody aint gonna mess with me !

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Kinda relieved that we don’t get a glimpse of the front too…


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Is it even legal to look this good?


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Have a nice……..jeeez…..what the f!!!!!!!!!
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Just another goat shopping at Walmart…….what’s so funny !


 

HOW TO HANDLE A HUSBAND

One for the girls...

How to Handle A Husband - very  funny!
 
A couple was celebrating their  golden wedding anniversary on the beaches in Montego Bay ,   Jamaica . Their domestic tranquillity had long been the talk of the town. People would   say, 'What a peaceful & loving couple.'  The local newspaper reporter  was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.
 
The Husband replied:  'Well, it  dates back to our honeymoon in America ,'explained the man.  'We visited the Grand Canyon, in Arizona ,  and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon, by horse.  We hadn't  gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell off.  My  wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, 'That's once.'  'We  proceeded a little further and her horse stumbled again.  Again my wife  quietly said, 'That's twice.'  We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse  stumbled for the third time my wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse  and shot the horse dead.
 
I SHOUTED at her, 'What's wrong with you, Woman!  Why did you shoot the poor animal like that, are you $%#@!crazy?'  She looked at ME, and quietly said, 'That's once.'
 
And from that moment on.... We have  lived happily ever after.' 


Most Expensive Catastrophes in History

11 Most Expensive Catastrophes in History 
# 11. Titanic - $150 Million 
The sinking of the Titanic is possibly the most famous accident in the world. But it barely makes our list of top 10 most expensive. 
On April 15, 1912, the Titanic sank on its maiden voyage and was considered to be the most luxurious ocean liner ever built. 
Over 1,500 people lost their lives when the ship ran into an iceberg and sunk in frigid waters. 
The ship cost $7 million to build ($150 million in today 's dollars.
 
 

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# 10. Tanker Truck vs Bridge - $358 Million 
On August 26, 2004, a car collided with a tanker truck containing 32,000 liters of fuel on the Wiehltal Bridge in Germany . 
The tanker crashed through the guardrail and fell 90 feet off the A4 Autobahn resulting in a huge explosion and fire which 
destroyed the load-bearing ability of the bridge. Temporary repairs cost $40 million and the cost to replace 
the bridge is estimated at $318 Million.
 
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# 9. MetroLink Crash - $500 Million 
On September 12, 2008, in what was one of the worst train crashes in California history, 25 people were killed when a Metrolink 
commuter train crashed head-on into a Union Pacific freight train in Los Angeles . It is thought that the Metrolink train may have run 
through a red signal while the conductor was busy text messaging.. 
Wrongful death lawsuits are expected to cause $500 million in losses for Metrolink. 
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# 8. B-2 Bomber Crash - $1.4 Billion 
Here we have our first billion dollar accident (and we ' re only #7 on the list). This B-2 stealth bomber crashed shortly after taking off 
from an air base in Guam on February 23, 2008. Investigators blamed distorted data in the flight control computers caused by moisture 
in the system. This resulted in the aircraft making a sudden nose-up move which made the B-2 stall and crash. 
This was 1 of only 21 ever built and was the most expensive aviation accident in history. Both pilots were able to eject to safety.
 


# 7. Exxon Valdez - $2.5 Billion 
The Exxon Valdez oil spill was not a large one in relation to the world ' s biggest oil spills, but it was a costly one due to the remote location 
of Prince William Sound (accessible only by helicopter and boat). On March 24, 1989, 10.8 million gallons of oil was spilled when the ship ' s 
master, Joseph Hazelwood, left the controls and the ship crashed into a Reef. The cleanup cost Exxon $2.5 billion.
 

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# 6. Piper Alpha Oil Rig - $3.4 Billion 
The world ' s worst off-shore oil disaster. At one time, it was the world ' s single largest oil producer, spewing out 317,000 barrels 
of oil per day. On July 6, 1988, as part of routine maintenance, technicians removed and checked safety valves which were essential 
in preventing dangerous build-up of liquid gas. There were 100 identical safety valves which were checked. Unfortunately, the technicians 
made a mistake and forgot to replace one of them. At 10 PM that same night, a technician pressed a start button for the liquid gas pumps and the 
world ' s most expensive oil rig accident was set in motion. Within 2 hours, the 300 foot platform was engulfed in flames. 
It eventually collapsed, killing 167 workers and resulting in $3.4 Billion in damages.
 
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# 5. Challenger Explosion - $5.5 Billion 
The Space Shuttle Challenger was destroyed 73 seconds after takeoff due on January 28, 1986 due to a faulty O-ring. It failed 
to seal one of the joints, allowing pressurized gas to reach the outside. This in turn caused the external tank to dump its payload 
of liquid hydrogen causing a massive explosion. The cost of replacing the Space Shuttle was $2 billion in 1986 ($4.5 billion in 
today ' s dollars). The cost of investigation, problem correction, and replacement of lost equipment cost $450 million 
from 1986-1987 ($1 Billion in today ' s dollars).
 
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# 4. Prestige Oil Spill - $12 Billion 
On November 13, 2002, the Prestige oil tanker was carrying 77,000 tons of heavy fuel oil when one of its twelve tanks burst during a storm off 
Galicia , Spain . Fearing that the ship would sink, the captain called for help from Spanish rescue workers, expecting them to take the ship into 
harbour. However, pressure from local authorities forced the captain to steer the ship away from the coast. The captain tried to get help 
from the French and Portuguese authorities, but they too ordered the ship away from their shores. The storm eventually 
took its toll on the ship resulting in the tanker splitting in half and releasing 20 million gallons oil into the sea.
 
According to a report by the Pontevedra Economist Board, the total cleanup cost $12 billion. 
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# 3. Space Shuttle Columbia - $13 Billion 
The Space Shuttle Columbia was the first space worthy shuttle in NASA ' s orbital fleet. It was destroyed during re-entry over Texas on 
February 1, 2003 after a hole was punctured in one of the wings during launch 16 days earlier. The original cost of the shuttle was $2 Billion in 1978. 
That comes out to $6.3 Billion in today ' s dollars. $500 million was spent on the investigation, making it the costliest aircraft accident investigation 
in history. The search and recovery of debris cost $300 million. In the end, the total cost of the accident (not including replacement of the shuttle) came 
out to $13 Billion according to the American Institute of Aeronautics and Astronautics.. 
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# 2. Chernobyl - $200 Billion 
On April 26, 1986, the world witnessed the costliest accident in history. The Chernobyl disaster has been called the biggest 
socio-economic catastrophe in peacetime history. 50% of the area of Ukraine is in some way contaminated. Over 200,000 people 
had to be evacuated and resettled while 1.7 million people were directly affected by the disaster. The death toll attributed to Chernobyl , 
including people who died from cancer years later, is estimated at 125,000. The total costs including cleanup, resettlement, and compensation 
to victims has been estimated to be roughly $200 Billion. The cost of a new steel shelter for the Chernobyl nuclear plant will cost $2 billion alone. 
The accident was officially attributed to power plant operators who violated plant procedures and were ignorant of the safety requirements needed.
 
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And at # 1 
2006-2008 Financial Meltdown$8 Trillion Global ………..!!!! 
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We didn't see it coming, he says. 
  
    
 

 

 

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