Irish Vasectomy...

 

Irish Vasectomy...

After having their 11th child, an Irish couple decided enough was enough, as they couldn't afford a larger bed.
So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy but it was expensive.
He explained a less costly alternative was to go home, get a large fire-cracker, light it, put it in a beer can,
then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The husband said to the doctor, 'B'Jayzus, I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me with my problem.'
'Trust me, it will do the job', said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cracker and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count: '1, 2, 3, 4, 5,'
at which point he paused, and placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand.

This procedure also works in New Zealand and several suburbs in Brisbane . 

   :-) 

 

 

Spanish Masculine and Feminine nouns

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.'
'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

 A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

 Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

 The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

 2.The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

 3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

 (THIS GETS BETTER!)

 The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:

 1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

 2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

 3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better (UPGRADED) model.

 The women won.

  

 Send this to all the smart women you know...and all the men that have a sense of humor.