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INSTALLING A HUSBAND
Dear
Tech Support,Last
year I upgraded from Boyfriend
5.0 to Husband
1.0 and
noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance,
particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which
operated flawlessly
under Boyfriend
5.0.In
addition, Husband
1.0 uninstalled
many other valuable programs, such
as
Romance
9.5 and Personal
Attention 6.5, and
then installed undesirable programs such as
NBA
5.0,
NFL
3.0 and
Golf Clubs
4.1.
Conversation
8.0 no
longer runs, and Housecleaning
2.6 simply
crashes the system.
Please
note that I have tried
running Nagging
5.3 to
fix these problems, but to no avail.What can I
do?Signed,
Desperate.
DEAR
DESPERATE,
First, keep in
mind,
Boyfriend
5.0 is
an Entertainment Package, while Husband
1.0 is
an operating system.Please enter
command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html, try
to download Tears
6.2, and
do not forget to install
the Guilt
3.0 update.
If
those applications work as
designed, Husband
1.0 should
then automatically run the
applications Jewelry
2.0 and Flowers
3.5.
However,
remember, overuse of the above application can
cause Husband
1.0 to
default
to
Grumpy
Silence 2.5, Happy
Hour 7.0, or Beer
6.1.
Please
note that Beer
6.1 is
a very bad program that will download
the Farting
and Snoring Loudly
Beta.
Whatever
you do, DO
NOT under
any circumstances
install Mother-In-Law
1.0 (it
runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize
control of all your system resources.)In
addition, please do not attempt to reinstall
the Boyfriend
5.0-program.
This is an unsupported application and will
crash Husband
1.0.In
summary, Husband
1.0 is
a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot
learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying
additional software to improve memory and performance. We
recommend
Cooking
3.0 and
Hot Lingerie
7.7.
Good
Luck!
Tech
Support
Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.
When he found out he was
going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a
wife with which to share his fortune.
One
evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had
ever seen.
Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, "but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit $200 million."
Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.
Women are so much better at financial planning than men.