Men are just happier people

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE ...

NICKNAMES

·                            If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

·                            If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.


EATING OUT 

·                            When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

·                            When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.


MONEY 

·                            A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

·                            A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.


BATHROOMS 

·                            A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel ..

·                            The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.


ARGUMENTS 

·                            A woman has the last word in any argument.

·                            Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


FUTURE 

·                            A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

·                            A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


SUCCESS 

·                            A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

·                            A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


MARRIAGE 

·                            A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

·                            A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.


DRESSING UP 

·                            A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

·                            A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


NATURAL 

·                            Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

·                            Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


OFFSPRING 

·                            Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and   hopes and dreams.

·                            A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.