RANGI and WHETU

RANGI and WHETU of Hokitika. 

                                                                           
                                                                          

Honi died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly.
 

  
The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Rangi and Whetu.
 

The three men had always done everything together... 

Rangi arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet,
 

Rangi said, 'Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad.  You better roll him over.'
 

The mortician rolled him over and Rangi said, 'Nope, ain't Honi .'
 

The mortician thought this was rather strange. 

So he brought Whetu in to confirm the identity of the body.
 

Whetu looked at the body and said, 'Yup, he's pretty well burnt up.
 

Roll him over.'
 

The mortician rolled him over and Whetu said, 'No, it ain't Honi '
 

The mortician asked, 'How can you tell?' 

Whetu said, 'Well, Honi had two assholes.'
 

'What? He had two assholes?' asked the mortician.
 

'Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say:
 

'There's Honi with them two assholes.'